Anecdotally Speaking

My nurse was making her final notations on the chart before placing it into the chart rack outside of the Exam Room.

"Do you have a name for your penis?" she asked me.

"I beg your pardon," I stammered.

She replied, "I'm taking an informal poll. So far half the girls in the office say that their husbands have a name for their penis."

"Why are you wondering," I asked, not sure that I wanted to know.

"It's your next patient. His penis is named 'Ed'. He said he wanted to talk about 'Ed' and when I asked him who 'Ed' was he said he was having trouble with erections. I never heard of naming your penis before and I was just wondering how often guys give their penis a name. I'm surprised to find out it isn't that unusual."

While I personally have not given my own phallus a moniker to call it's own, I am aware of the practice, although I do not know how common it is. I certainly do not remember anyone calling his penis by name in my office; so, this did seem a bit odd. I approached my next patient with a little trepidation.

After exchanging the customary pleasantries, I asked him the reason for his visit. He calmly stated that he wanted to talk about "Ed."

"My nurse was right," I thought to myself, "this is going to be awkward."

"Ed?" I said aloud, and then trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the expectant silence.

"Yea, you know. Ed."

He pointed at the poster hanging on the wall next to the exam table. In big bold letters it read, "Do You Have Symptoms of E. D.?" The poster went on to encourage patients to bring up the subject of E. D. (Erectile Dysfunction) with their doctors, because new effective treatments are now available.

I took care of my patient and his E. D. problem. Then I could not wait to finish our visit to get out of the room to tell everybody who 'Ed' was. Fortunately, our nurse was very professional and my patient never knew that she thought his penis was named 'Ed'. That day we all learned something about penises and their names, about sexual issues and talking about them in the doctor's office and about E. D. (Erectile Dysfunction) in general and how to better serve our patients.

The E. D. posters have helped to break the ice for many conversations regarding an embarrassing subject. However, no one has since ever said that they wanted to talk about 'Ed'!